Andy Cunningham

From the BBC.

BBC NEWS | Health | Chocolate ‘cuts blood clot risk’

Well, since I’m allergic to aspirin, this is good news.  Perhaps I should start stocking up on the dark stuff and claim it’s for medicinal reasons!

A business trip took me to Cork last week via Aer Lingus, who seem to think that not giving you a cup of coffee unless you pay for it is the way to make customers come back.

I’ll be back. Only because I have to go to Cork again and no-one else flies there from Heathrow.

But I’d like to make a special mention of the very attractive, very sweet member of the cabin crew who made a valiant attempt at kneecapping me with a trolley full of coffee and overpriced chocolate they were selling on board.

Let me state now, for the record, that I resent spending money on anything on a plane that I’m not going to have at home a week after I get back. At the very least I expect to have a free soft drink and not be assaulted by the cabin crew.

But this post is largely aimed at the sad, penny pinching, fuckwitted 40 year old virgin accountant masquerading as an engineer who thinks that you can fit 6 people across the width of an Airbus A320.

THERE IS SPACE FOR FIVE, if you still want an aisle. I’ve been closer to complete strangers on a plane than people I’ve had sex with.

On the plus side, though. I have had sex. Which is more pleasure every time than the fuckwit accountant masquerading as an engineer will ever experience in his life.

SWMBO decides it’s time for a shopping run. Our default store is Tesco, since it’s well priced, the nearest big superstore, and we know where to find everything we buy.

Apart from the fact that once again, they’ve moved every single item in the entire store to a new location and between us we’ve just wasted 90 minutes of what could have been a Friday evening snuggled on the sofa trying to find things like castor sugar – I asked 4 members of staff before I finally tracked it down!

What is the point of moving things around arbitrarily to piss off customers who shop there because they know where to find stuff? It might have made me spend longer in the store, but we spent less because we have a whole list of stuff we couldn’t find at will buy at a competitor’s store tomorrow. It’s certiainly alienated a few customers. It’s pissed off the staff (“I can’t find anything either”). I’d buy online if I could remember if it was the 200g or 400g packet of wibblythings that we normally get, but I’m buggered if I’m going down to the kitchen to check.

Please, Mr Tes and Mr Co, stop fucking with my life and let me get my shopping done in 90 minutes dead without annoying me so much I grumble at your staff and yell at small children.

For the record, the last bit isn’t any kind of exaggeration. The small child playing in the automatic doorway got “out of the way!” as I left the store, and would have got “get out of my way you stupid brat” if I’d actually had to slow down getting out of there.

I’d like to say I blame the parents, but in this case I blame retail management.

This is what I get to look at from the window at work. Hardly inspiring.

It’s a genuine picture, honest guv.

It’s a 4.0 litre V8.

It’s running on Petrol.

It’s doing 50MPH on the motorway at about 2000 revs and has been for the last mile.

Doing 80 (sorry, officer, 70) is still more fun, though.

…. Spam spam spam spam SPAM!

Spammity-spam.

We went to see “Spamalot” in London on Saturday. “Lovingly ripped off” from the film “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”, this musical rendition of the film was a wonderful afternoon out. Gratuitously over-acted by Tim Curry (of “Rocky Horror Picture Show” fame) and Hannah Waddington (“obscenely tall, obscenely blond, and an obscenely big gob”, in her own words) amongst others, this was the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time. Lunch before at Wagamama’s and dinner afterwards at Zizzis made for a great day out. We tried to get on the London Eye as well, but the ticket office was closed by the time we got there!

A bit of a shiny day out – I didn’t take the Dakar because of a problem with my back, and some other shinys turned up too. Still a fun day, even though the most I did was get some mud on the P38A.

Just goes to show what a little blagging can get you…..

The Amateur Gourmet looks like a site worth reading!